Phoebe,
Ooof, no post today, sorry kid. Had a busy morning with tons of calls to make, but this should be the only missed post for the week. I miss you lots though!
Love,
-Dad
Glasses
11-20-19
Happy Wednesday, Phoebe!
Sorry for the missed post yesterday, I know that you know it doesn’t mean it’s not important, just that it’s time consuming, and other things come up. :)
Thanks for asking Mom if I could pick you up from school yesterday. I know we didn’t do anything exciting, but, I’m always happy to hang out and spend time together, even if it’s just sitting around chatting. Sorry that we didn’t get food or coffee, but we need to start adjusting to the reality that we can’t do that every time, which is a big part of why we didn’t. I’m trying to knock out Christmas early, and it means we need to manage finances carefully.
It was too late to message you after we’d gotten off of the phone, but I talked to Aunt Danielle last night, for a little more than two hours. We got caught up, and I pitched the Thanksgiving idea. She seemed really disappointed that Uncle Derek didn’t want to come, but, I might talk to him again, and see if maybe I can sway the tides, and mayyyybe even have everyone all together at once. It’s a long shot, but not entirely impossible. She’s going to talk to Toby, and see if they’re up for any type of Thanksgiving gathering. We’ll have to toy with dates, and make sure we work in something for Charlie’s birthday, even if it isn’t ON Thanksgiving. This whole thing is going to take a LOT of planning, driving, money, and effort, so try to be patient, and bear with me. We’ll need to discuss, as a family, whether or not we want to try to swing by Christy’s for a quick visit, and where we’re going to try to stay once we get to CA. I don’t THINK Nanny will have any interest in seeing me, but, I would like to try, if y’all think it’s a possibility. I’m less interested in seeing Nanny than Granddan, but still.
Anyway, I hope that you have an awesome day at school, let me know if you want me to pick you up from school again, I can’t promise food, but maybe we can go grab coffee or something? Have an awesome day, I miss and love you a whole, whole bunch!
Love,
-Dad
Fries
11-18-19
Good Morning, Pheebs!
I hope that you got some sleep last night! We kid of murdered our sleep schedule this past weekend, so I hope it’s not too hard for you to get back on track. I know you have a busy week happening, so please let me know if you need help keeping up. With cheer practice amping back up, with your regular classload, it’ll be easy to fall underwater, if you’re not careful. There’s going to be a lot riding on your grades from now on, so, let’s try to get back on track, and maintain, k?
Coach is resizing at practice today, so I can reorder a new shell, please make sure that you’re there, and let me know if there are any issues with rides, etc. :)
I’ll talk to Uncle Derek and Aunt Dani today, if I can get ahold of them, and explore the possibilities of going to CA for Thanksgiving. If we can somehow make it happen, it’s going to end up a bit of a whirlwind trip, and it’ll feel like it’s happening really, really fast, so we’ll have to plan it out really carefully. We’d have to talk to Christy, and see if we wanted to stop there on the way down, or the way back, and make a list of all the people in CA we wanted to stop and see. We could even stop for coffee to see Jen and Troy, if y’all wanted to.
We’ll also need to start getting a plan together for Christmas, by looking at dates, and seeing what fits where. You all seem to have quite a few days off for the holidays, and I think I’ll have you for New Year’s, so, we’ll need to plan that, too. We need to discuss gifts, as well, as Christmas might be a little light this year on some fronts. Since y’all won’t actually be here Christmas morning, we’ll need to discuss whether or not to get a real tree, or use the fake tree one last year.
I hope that you have an awesome day, I’ll be around if you wanna chat. I miss and love you a whole, whole bunch. xoxox
Love,
-Dad
Jump
11-10-19
Happy Sunday, Phoebe!
It’s been a very long week, and, with getting our place prepped for the exchange, there won’t be a post today. Sorry, but there still is a song of the day, and a photo of the day. ;)
Love you tons, and can’t wait to see you later today!
-Dad
Hello?
11-09-19
Happy Saturday, kiddo!
Pretty sure you fell asleep while we were chatting last night, but, really understandable considering the night that you had Thursday. I’m glad you got some sleep, and I hope that you understood what I was saying about slowing down, and realizing that things aren’t as permanent as they feel.
I know that you’re a long way off from being adult enough to understand it, but, the approach that I personally take to all of this, is that it’s life. I don’t mean that in the sense some people use it dismissively, “welp, that’s life!”, but, in the sense that this is the world around us. It’s made up of all of us on this world, and our relationships with one another, our feelings, the events and occurrences in our lives, and the experience we gain in living on through all of it… that is life. I don’t love it when things are hard, stressful, or painful, but, I’ve come to realize that all of it is a part of life, and every situation I go through that is difficult, I learn something from that experience, and it’s always valuable. It’s super cliché, but absolutely true; “whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger”. It’s what we do with these situations, the way we navigate, and the lessons we take away with us, that make us who we are. Embrace it, because you’re infinitely stronger than you realize. <3
I really hope that all of you have a blast seeing Belle and Daniel today, and hope that they stick around and hang out with y’all, instead of Mom and belle leaving to go do their thing. I’ll watch my account, and as soon as the money is deposited, I’ll turn the cell phones back on within the hour. If you message before then, and I don’t answer right away, it just means that I left the house, and don’t have service at the time.
I miss you all a whole, whole bunch, and can’t wait to see you Sunday. Have fun today!
Love,
-Dad
Handstand
11-08-19
Happy Friday, Phoebe.
I know yesterday was really hard, and I’m so sorry that it turned out that way, and that you had such a difficult, and rotten night. You’re in the middle of a lot of things that don’t feel like they’re ever going to get any better, right now. I know that you think I’m full of it when I keep telling you that things will get better, but, I also want you to think about how many times I’ve told you something you haven’t believed, only to have to come back and tell me for the hundredth time, that I’m always right. I may not be good at everything, but, I’m good at this, I’m good at understanding people, and I know what I’m talking about. This is going to be a long process. It’s going to be a hard process, but, it will get better. Every time that you stand up, and speak your truth, every time that you’re honest about what’s going on, and how you feel, you gain a little bit of strength. You gain a little momentum. After time, the truth about what things really are won’t be able to be denied, skirted, or gaslighted into you. You’ll have ground, and the fear will wane.
Once you start opening up, therapy will help, you just have to try looking at as a tool, to help you wade through the chaos and mess. An outlet for you to vent everything, and not worry about how it sounds, at all. At age 15, I’ve put you in charge of your therapy, it’s protected by confidentiality, and what takes place there can’t be accessed by anyone without your express permission. She won’t divulge anything to me, mom, or anyone else, unless something you say presents an actual danger, or shows you to be IN danger. Physical abuse from a parent, or you threatening to harm yourself, for example. That space, and those meetings are yours, to discuss anything and everything. Try to learn to use them to heal, and get stronger. <3
While I do what I can in court, you continuing to speak up, and tearing down the false wall of “this is all okay” is the right path through this. You had a really bad night last night, and, parents are supposed to be there for you to vent to, listen, and try to help in whatever ways they can. We know that mom isn’t capable of those things, and that she isn’t able to put anyone’s needs above her own… so, we need to stop pretending that’s okay, and that everyone feels okay about it. It will take time, but, it will get better.
I will always be here for you, and I will always put you and your sisters first. We will always be a family, no matter who comes and goes. You have that in your life, a constant. You can always count on the fact that Charlie, Thea, and I will always be here when things get hard, and if we’re being honest, there are a lot of people that don’t have that kind of support. It’s going to be okay, I promise.
It’s looking like you’re going to skip school today, but, I have everything back from squarespace, so, it looks like funding and the phones coming back on will happen before the end of the day. See? I told you things will get better. ;)
I love you an awful, awful lot,
-Dad
Chomp
11-07-19
Happy Thursday, Phoebe!
I hope that you had a good night last night. I’m really glad that Mom let me pick you up from school, and that we were able to go and eat together. I had a lot of fun with you, and it’s always really nice to get some extra time together when it’s mom’s week.
I’m still really upset that Mom didn’t pick Charlie up, and I hope that maybe someday she’ll start to understand the need in Charlie’s brain for order, and for things to go as she expects them. I’d hoped that you’d all get a little time to come and hang out after we picked Thea up, but, some time is definitely better than no time.
I’m so exhausted that the e-mail to Ludlow is going to have to wait until morning. What I’d recommend is dropping in and asking if you can borrow the camera on Friday. I think that some of the kids ask in advance of when they need the cameras, and that’s why they’re frequently already spoken for when you get there. Ask what he says for Friday, and if he says “no”, let me know and I’ll get an e-mail over to him. ;)
Also, you should probably talk to Mom about Saturday as soon as possible, that way she’ll have had a heads-up, and will be far less likely to say she won’t take you. If you need your uniform washed, I’d recommend asking her to wash it ASAP, so there are no surprises.
Lastly, make sure you watch all the trailers and vote on them sometime today, as most of the stories will expire shortly after school’s out for the day. I hope that you have a really awesome day today, and I’ll be working behind the scenes in the morning, trying to get the cell phones turned back on before school’s out. i miss you a ton.
Love you bunches and bunches,
-Dad
