10-23-19

Good morning!

Sorry that yesterday was difficult. I can’t count the number of times that you’ve been left frustrated and angry, because mom’s been more than an hour late to pick you up, and you’re not “allowed” to call her on it. The last time we had this conversation, mom screen-recorded it to shut down any dissent, or the idea of anyone holding her accountable for not showing up, again.

It’s one thing to be more than an hour late to pick you up. It’s something else to offer no explanation as to why. Something even more to not allow you to speak about it, and, something worse to keep doing it, repeatedly. Someday, you’ll value your feelings more than your fear, and you’ll speak up. Until then, I’m really sorry, and I truly wish things were different.

I just want you to have the power to make your feelings and emotions heard, and need you to grow up knowing that how you feel matters, and that you’re not wrong for having feelings, and that others should listen to them, and take them into consideration.

You’re not going to be happy, but I looked for the little skull container I keep my paperclips in, and couldn’t find it on my desk, where it’s been the last two years. When I realized where Charlie had moved it to, I found that it is now empty, as well. I looked everywhere, but could not find any. I’ll meet you with the two sweaters, both skirts, and some metal stuff I found that isn’t chains, but might work.

It’s late, and I’m really tired. I’m not sure what your friend is doing at the bottom of this photo, but it’s awkward, and not so great, lol. See you in a few hours.

Love you!

-Dad

Field Day

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10-22-19

Hey kid, happy Tuesday!

I’m glad we got to sit down and talk with Coach yesterday, and get everything sorted out, so that you can get back to cheer. You brought up a lot of really good, fair points, and did it in a fair, and diplomatic manner. I’m proud of you for voicing your concerns, and trying to be a part of the solution, rather than what’s easier, and ignoring it. I’m also really glad that you’ll be able to cheer for homecoming, and get back into comp.

I hope that you found something yellow for spirit week today! Your 70s stuff for yesterday was really, really cool, and I’m glad it all worked out. I know it’s going to be hard to balance with everything else going on, but, you need to promise me that you’ll get your missing English assignments made up before Friday. Procrastination is soooo easy, but always puts you in a worse place when the deadline’s up… ask me how I know. ;)

I’m glad things seem to be going well with your therapist. As long as you make sure you’re getting everything off of your chest, honestly, it’ll help, I promise. The more you get to know her, the easier it will get to talk about the things you need to talk about, even if it doesn’t seem like it now.

I should know more about the possibility of getting memberships to the Japanese Gardens in a few days. It’s supposed to be the most colorful this time of year, right before Winter hits. If everything plays out like I’m hoping, we’ll get it all set up, and see if you can borrow a DSLR over the weekend from Ludlow. It looks like they even have a zen garden there, which is something I’ve always wanted to see, but never have. :)

I hope that you have an awesome day today, and can’t wait to talk to you later, I miss you a ton!

Love,

Dad

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10-21-19

Happy Monday, Phoebe!

I’m really glad that you and mom worked out an option for Monday’s spirit week! I was really worried about both spirit week and homecoming, both, and am glad that it looks like things are going to work out. If there are any of the days this week that you can’t get anything put together, and need help, please let me know. I had an idea for TikTok/meme day… what if you went as a VSCO girl? You’d just need a Hydroflask, a TON of scrunchies, and, some friendship bracelets? It’d be hilarious. ;)

If you have a chance today, maybe at lunch or during some of your classes with downtime, try to take some quick notes on the topics we’ll need to discuss with Coach this afternoon. Obviously, first order of business will be seniors, their attitudes, and lack of participation and leadership. It’d be a good idea to discuss your return plan, as well. You obviously can’t make it back in time for HoCo, but, we need you back in comp, and we’ll have to know the practice and tumbling plans. :)

The game is Friday, and the dance is Saturday, right? I’m not sure who you’re going to go to the homecoming game with, but, I was considering going to the game. Nothing in stone, so, we can talk about it this week.

Have an awesome day! I might not be around throughout the morning, but, will see you at 2:05 to meet up with Coach!

Love you tons,

-Dad

Glow Dance

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10-12-19

Happy Saturday, Phoebe!

I had a lot of fun meeting up with y’all at the Peace Pipe game! I hope that you understood what I had to say in regard to the evening, and get that it wasn’t meant to be a criticism, so much as guidance. It’s really hard being your age. It’s easy to feel like you see things clearly, and that you already know what there is to know about relationships and people. I’ve say by (mostly quietly) and watched as various people have hurt your feelings, and made you feel like someone other than who you are. I can only do that for so long before I have to speak up. I know how hurtful it is that Mom doesn’t allow you to hang out with Lou, and I don’t support that decision for the reason she’s made it. Unfortunately, your friendship with her makes me wonder if Mom has inadvertently made a healthy decision for you, just for the wrong reason. The truth is that it doesn’t have anything to do with you, as a person, in actuality, it’s just the type of person that Lou is, and I worry that it rubs off on you, in how you act toward Charlie. Lou doesn’t make decisions based on anything other than waht is convenient for her, and what she wants. That, too often, leaves you wondering what you’ve done wrong, or why you’re being left out or ignored. I don’t want that for you, in any of your relationships in life, especially this early on, when it will shape the way that you curate relationships for the rest of your life. Barring something dangerous or unsafe, I wouldn’t place restrictions on who you can and can’t spend time with, but, I am going to continue to speak up, and try to guide you toward making decisions that are healthy and beneficial for you. I hope that you’re able to see that for what it is, me trying to teach you to protect yourself, instead of something else. I’m really proud of your ideals, compassion, and who you are, but, you need to put your own feelings first, a little more often.

Anyway, I hope that the three of you had fun at Adriane’s, after the game. I have no idea how late mom worked tonight, but I hope that you didn’t have to be at the trailer park alone. Thea seems especially detached lately, and, I know that spending time with her isn’t on the list of cool things for a 15 year-old to do, but, spending an entire week split only between school, and her devices, is enabling her to escape into YouTube and gatcha, and, it’s making things a lot worse. She isn’t ever engaged on a personal level, and, it’s really starting to show. If you could just make 15-30 minutes per day to engage with her in some way that gives her something to do besides dive online, I think it would be good for both of you, and your relationship. Try to remember how it made you and Charlie feel, that she detached from you as soon as she started making her own friends. She’d really love it, even if you don’t think so. <3

As promised, today’s song of the day is the original version of the cover of Alex’s that I put up a few days ago. I’m not sure if you’ll like it as much as I always have, but, you tend to have pretty good taste in music. ;) I can’t wait for you to come home tomorrow, and I hope you all have an awesome Saturday planned! I love you tons and tons, and miss you even more.

Love,

-Dad

Van

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10-11-19

Hey Pheebs,

Happy day off of school! I fell asleep really early last night, but I don’t think I missed any messages from you. I’m glad you got to go and hang out with your friends after school, even if it was just for a few hours. :)

I hope you get a plan together for the game tonight! I’m sorry that Mom can’t take you because of work, and I hate that she won’t let me give you a ride, even though I’m completely available to. Hopefully something will work out with another friend, and you can get there with someone else. I won’t go to the game, if you’re not able to. Please keep me posted, if anything comes up, or, if somehow I am able to take you.

As far as the movies this weekend, I get your feelings on Anthony, but, I think maybe you should stop wasting your time on him. There’s no rush, and you have all of the time in the world. Trying to force something to happen with the wrong person, is just going to leave you feeling worse, and disappointed. Anthony may also be using the Riley thing as an excuse for not wanting to get involved. Either way, he’s not worth your time, and I know that for a fact, even if it sucks. You might just have to wait for one of the boys that likes you, but is too shy to say anything, to come forward. Not the most fun plan, but, one that won’t leave you feeling hurt at the end.

Anyway, I’ll be around today, so, keep me posted on the game. I miss and love you a whole bunch, and I hope you have an awesome day!

Love,

-Dad

River

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10-10-19

Hey kiddo.

I know last night was rough, and for that, I’m sorry. I’m glad we were able to chat though, as, the thought of you going through that without anyone to talk to breaks my heart. Parents are for guidance, and support, and, I’m sorry you don’t always have that at all times.

I’m glad you’re trying to make some plans for the weekend with other friends. I know that Lou is your best friend, but, I often wonder if you’re hers, or if she even has one. I’d never tell you who you can, or can’t be friends with, outside of dangerous behaviors, but, it gets really frustrating watching her hurt your feelings over, and over. I hope you find an answer to dealing with it, that is in your best interest.

I don’t know that Sunday is the best day to go to the movies, since exchange day is always stressful, but, if you can’t make it work on Saturday, we’ll see what we can do about Sunday. How rad is it that y’all have Friday off of school? I hope it felt like a short week, and that your teachers don’t crowd your weekend with too much homework, just because it’s a three day weekend.

I hope you were paying close attention to our conversation last night, because I really meant all of it. Things will start to feel easier when you start remembering your value, and taking away the power people have to take advantage of your kindness and compassion. Better friends and dudes will come along, sooner if you stop wasting time on the people that haven’t earned it.

You’re a fantastic kid, Phoebe, and I miss you a whole, whole bunch.

Love millions and billions,

-Dad

Marshmallows

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10-09-19

Happy Wednesday, Teebs!

I’m really glad we went for coffee before I dropped you at the escape room. It’s really cool to just sit and chat, without having to worry about anything else that’s going on. Thanks for letting me take you, instead of going with Coach. :)

You’re doing a lot better with getting to your homework without being prodded, but, staying on task is still a challenge. We didn’t talk about it yet, but, I have some ideas about how to make it easier for you, once you get home. You’re still getting better and better each day, though, so I think you’re almost there. :)

Really glad the escape room was fun. You’d think that after all this time of me being right all the time, that you’d just learn to trust me from the get-go, lol. Now we just need to meet with Coach, and get a timeline put together about when you’re going to be back to cheer full time. I don’t want you to miss comp this year. :)

Speaking of me always being right… how cool are free AirPods?!? Super excited that you’ll get those, and won’t have to worry about corded earbuds anymore. Personally, I can’t stand earbuds, or the way they feel, but I guess that’s just because I’m old (skool), and prefer headphones.

So, please ignore the coverart for today’s song-of-the-day, lmao. For some reason, Spotify takes the coverart for the most played version of the song, so, if it appears on some wacky compilation that gets a ton of streams, that’s where it pulls the art from. I think you’ll like the song though. When you were two or three, Alex made a cover of this song, but unfortunately, nobody recorded it. BUT, about three years before you were born, they covered another one of my most favorite songs, called “Cuts You Up”, by Peter Murphy. Someone DID record that, because it was at a party we had at Brian Fish’s house, lol. Also, it’s up on YouTube:

Maybe you’ll like it, too. The original version is really good too, so I’ll make sure it’s in your song-of-the-day this week.

I miss you lots and lots.

Love tons,

-Dad

Cart

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