10-12-19

Happy Saturday, Phoebe!

I had a lot of fun meeting up with y’all at the Peace Pipe game! I hope that you understood what I had to say in regard to the evening, and get that it wasn’t meant to be a criticism, so much as guidance. It’s really hard being your age. It’s easy to feel like you see things clearly, and that you already know what there is to know about relationships and people. I’ve say by (mostly quietly) and watched as various people have hurt your feelings, and made you feel like someone other than who you are. I can only do that for so long before I have to speak up. I know how hurtful it is that Mom doesn’t allow you to hang out with Lou, and I don’t support that decision for the reason she’s made it. Unfortunately, your friendship with her makes me wonder if Mom has inadvertently made a healthy decision for you, just for the wrong reason. The truth is that it doesn’t have anything to do with you, as a person, in actuality, it’s just the type of person that Lou is, and I worry that it rubs off on you, in how you act toward Charlie. Lou doesn’t make decisions based on anything other than waht is convenient for her, and what she wants. That, too often, leaves you wondering what you’ve done wrong, or why you’re being left out or ignored. I don’t want that for you, in any of your relationships in life, especially this early on, when it will shape the way that you curate relationships for the rest of your life. Barring something dangerous or unsafe, I wouldn’t place restrictions on who you can and can’t spend time with, but, I am going to continue to speak up, and try to guide you toward making decisions that are healthy and beneficial for you. I hope that you’re able to see that for what it is, me trying to teach you to protect yourself, instead of something else. I’m really proud of your ideals, compassion, and who you are, but, you need to put your own feelings first, a little more often.

Anyway, I hope that the three of you had fun at Adriane’s, after the game. I have no idea how late mom worked tonight, but I hope that you didn’t have to be at the trailer park alone. Thea seems especially detached lately, and, I know that spending time with her isn’t on the list of cool things for a 15 year-old to do, but, spending an entire week split only between school, and her devices, is enabling her to escape into YouTube and gatcha, and, it’s making things a lot worse. She isn’t ever engaged on a personal level, and, it’s really starting to show. If you could just make 15-30 minutes per day to engage with her in some way that gives her something to do besides dive online, I think it would be good for both of you, and your relationship. Try to remember how it made you and Charlie feel, that she detached from you as soon as she started making her own friends. She’d really love it, even if you don’t think so. <3

As promised, today’s song of the day is the original version of the cover of Alex’s that I put up a few days ago. I’m not sure if you’ll like it as much as I always have, but, you tend to have pretty good taste in music. ;) I can’t wait for you to come home tomorrow, and I hope you all have an awesome Saturday planned! I love you tons and tons, and miss you even more.

Love,

-Dad

Van

Van

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